I know perfectly that this blog is suppose to be about travelling and experiencing amazing things again, while travelling, but life as crazy and unpredictible as it is, sometimes is giving us a really juicy lemon and I've decided to make a hell of a lemonade out of it. This time this post is going to be more personal, maybe a little bit funny but mostely just awkward.
Last weekend, as you can guess, something really awkward happened to me, as if meeting a person you used to date was not awkward at all in general. I never understood why and how people after being so close to each other all of the sudden pretend not to know each other any more. Or worse pretend that nothing ever happened and all of the memories shared together doesn't matter anymore. As if just bacause something didn't work out meant that the magical eracer will show up and just clean up all the mess we’ve made. I wish it was that easy. The worst part of it all is not even that we are forced to act like strangers. The worst is that nothing in this world can change our feelings or the way we still feel about someone. Even when we are acting like total strangers still tragically in love with each other.
My awkward situation was typical. I was late, ready to take part in one of the workshops I take part in in The City. I entered a small room filled with strangers noticing one and only person I did not expect to see. My ex. I knew he likes the topic of the workshop, damn, I knew that this might happen. What did not change was the fact that (as an idiot) I turned into a pillar of salt. I was sweating like a pig. I wasn't ready to see him and definetely I wasn't ready to face him that day but as it happens we don't really have much of a choice in those situations. The only good thing was that I didn't come on my own. I had a friend by my side who I guess made everything worse, because it made the ex guy think that I moved on and I've decided to punch him in the face with a living proof of it. A gorgeous Spanish guy who that day decided to be all over me. Or maybe that’s how I felt that day.
I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you that this one hour (I was late for anyways) was the longest 60 mins of my life. I felt like I was caught up in a middle of a comedy movie where a main character makes a total ass of itself. That was me. And he wasn’t even looking at me. He did everything in the same way when we first met. He was charming, handsome as hell and incredibly indifferent. It hurt. Looking at him hurt.
Right now you must have hundreds of scenarios of what happened next. The thing is that happened absolutely nothing. After a class we both came back to our lifes completely ignoring the fate that might wanted us to be together again. Or at least that’s what I thought that day.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him for days. Me and my friends couldn’t stop talking about it for weeks. And for what you may ask. Maybe just for a fact that something exciting and unexpected happened. Or maybe we had nothing better to do.
The only thing I’ll remember from that day is how awkward it was for me and how awkward he acted around me, saying “Excuse me darling” with this stupid British accent instead of saying hi and asking how was I doing lately.
The lesson I’ve learned from that day is: sometimes some things happen and even if they seem so complicated and emotional for us does not to be for the other person. We overthink. We over analyze. And that’s ok. That’s who we are and how we act as women. We should not forget though about the common sense.
Let’s all take a step back, a deep breath and look at everything with a peace of mind. I promise you, everything will seem less dramatic.
All the love! M.
*non of the graphics used in this post belong to me.