One year. 365 days. 876581277 hours. Million of memories. Thousands of smiles. Hundreds of sleepless nights. Way too many drinks. Few horrible first dates. One broken heart. One year.
I’ve never been good at summarizing. I guess it’s beyond difficult trying to say something that makes sense about so many moments that changed you. Made you grow up (again), made you slow down, stop and think about things you felt so certain about. About all of those moments where you realized that after all these years you know exactly who you are and what you want from your life. How am I suppose to summarize the dreams that I made sure will come true? Or how can I explain the process of moving on and falling in love again? Or how much I achieved?
I’ll try. Just let me start from the beginning.
When I came here (meaning flying all the way from Poland to the US) I don’t wanna lie, I was running away from the things I didn’t want to face. I was heart broken, I didn’t want to become an adult yet. I didn’t want to settle down and work 9-5 in an office only waiting for a weekend. It never been my thing. I knew, even then, that having a job just for the comfort of good salary will never be enough for me. I wanted to see more, experience more, make more mistakes and learn new lessons before I’ll decide about my fate.
Fist few weeks were like a blur. Everything seemed so new and exciting, speaking English challenged me every day, making new friends helped me to open up and New York, yes my love, New York made all of my problems seem so small. I lost myself in the City and I realized that I made a right decision coming here. My whole life I was trying to please everyone with perfect grades, perfect BA and MA diploma, I tried to make sure everything I’ll ever do will always be on time. I never slowed down. I never gave myself a gap year. I needed it.
I stopped thinking what I was suppose to be doing and I started to actually do want I felt like doing. I travelled. I did. I visited 5 counties, 12 states and I had one epic road trip I dreamt of my whole life. I stopped comparing myself to others because of one really simple reason. I’m not like others. I’ve never been. I listened to my mom's advices knowing that what’s she wants for me it’s not the same with what I want for myself.
World is changing and so do we. The paths we are choosing, the things we are doing are so new for our parents and families. New, that's the point. Not worse. Just because we don’t do something in the way they used to doesn’t mean that’s worse or won’t give us what we deserve. Many years ago no one had a chance to live in the world without borders. No one would ever think that you can actually start your life anywhere. I’m pretty sure that when my mom finished her school she never thought about even moving her home town. For us, young wanderlust people, we can’t stand a thought of spending our whole life in one place. We think of other continents, other countries just because we can and we are brave enough to do so.
So why should our parents decide about our future? It’s our life and only we are the ones to live it so we can as well just do it our way. Right?
What else did I achieve in one year? I lived in three different countries. I studied in Norway where I was climbing mountains on everyday bases, I saw my first Northern Lights, I got my MA’s. I worked my ass off as a bartender for months just to have enough money to come here. I fell in love at least three times. I had one terrible heart break. I passed my drivers license and I attended one really important wedding.
I lived. I did so much. I can be just excited about new adventures.
What’s coming next? New Orleans. And after that? Who the hell knows.
All the love! M.
p.s
In the galery few of my fav pictures from this magical One Year.